I just wanted to say
HAPPY ANNIVERSARY
to my amazing husband!
It's been a great 5 months married to you.
You're absoultely my prince and
I LA LA LOVE YOU!
Friday, January 21, 2011
Wednesday, January 19, 2011
Introducing Baby Gibb
This is Baby Gibb @ 7 weeks.!
S/He looks like a gummy bear!
I am, of course, wanting a girl and
Robbie, of course, wants a boy..
What do you think?
Daddy Ayala: Boy
Mommy Ayala: Girl
Marissa (Crystal's Best Friend): Girl
Shawn (Robbie's Best Friend): Boy
Rebecca N.: Boy
Staci P.: Girl
David D.: Boy
Andrew G.:Boy
Lynzee C.: Girl
Danielle T.: Boy
David D.: Boy
Andrew G.:Boy
Lynzee C.: Girl
Danielle T.: Boy
Tuesday, January 11, 2011
Heartbeat
Yesterday i went in to see the fabulous Dr. Rhodes. This was a nerve racking appointment. 6 weeks.... Last pregnancy at 6 weeks my world changed and found/heard no heart beat. and then began the downward spiral of a miscarriage. So this time, was a "make it or break it" for me. I wanted to go in and one of two things happen.. hear a heart beat, then scream to the world i'm having a baby, or not hear one, do what i need, and move on. I know that probably seems so harsh. But after that experience i was drained emotionally, on all levels. Life was a motionless day to day thing. I had a great support around me, but it didn't matter. My husband, poor Robbie, was married to a zombie and i brought him down with me. Every where i looked was pregnant woman and it wasn't fair. Why them and not me? I was just, horrible. So, to get to the point, if it was going to happen again, i wasn't going to drown in it...again.
BUT, we saw that little heart beating, fast, strong, so full of life. I could finally breath. Of course, i'm still nervous. Still so many what ifs. But i have so many reasons to be positive. Our entire world is about to change, and we are so completely ready for it. I want all the symptoms.. i know why would i want them... but to me that confirms pregnancy. The morning sickness, bloating, cravings, i want it all. But i haven't gotten them all. I know not all pregnancies are the same, and not every woman will get every symptom.
I'm scared and nervous, but most of all, excited. I think i will be a fabulous mother. I mean afterall i did help raise all 5 of my nieces and nephews! Ha, then i come to reality and know, i really have no clue. This is going to be totally different. Yes, i do know alot. It wasn't a situation where my sister brought the kids over and i babysat. No, i missed out on so much to help. I already had the sleepless nights, being in the ER overnight, searching Midland for a nephew, PTA meetings, getting called out of school/work, to go get a kid, getting thrown up on, peed on, chaning a million diapers a night, the tears, ALL of it. No, i wouldn't change a thing. But it's still going to be different. This is my child. As much as i was the kids aunt/mom/sister, I will be this childs mom, and mom only.
i'm sure none of this makes sense. and i am really just blabbering on. I know i will get the whole "IF YOU NEED ANYTHING, JUST LET ME KNOW" so here it is:
PRAY. Pray for my child to grow, grow strong and healthy. That is all i need right now.
ok, so imma go wipe these tears and i promise, i am taking care of myself!
BUT, we saw that little heart beating, fast, strong, so full of life. I could finally breath. Of course, i'm still nervous. Still so many what ifs. But i have so many reasons to be positive. Our entire world is about to change, and we are so completely ready for it. I want all the symptoms.. i know why would i want them... but to me that confirms pregnancy. The morning sickness, bloating, cravings, i want it all. But i haven't gotten them all. I know not all pregnancies are the same, and not every woman will get every symptom.
I'm scared and nervous, but most of all, excited. I think i will be a fabulous mother. I mean afterall i did help raise all 5 of my nieces and nephews! Ha, then i come to reality and know, i really have no clue. This is going to be totally different. Yes, i do know alot. It wasn't a situation where my sister brought the kids over and i babysat. No, i missed out on so much to help. I already had the sleepless nights, being in the ER overnight, searching Midland for a nephew, PTA meetings, getting called out of school/work, to go get a kid, getting thrown up on, peed on, chaning a million diapers a night, the tears, ALL of it. No, i wouldn't change a thing. But it's still going to be different. This is my child. As much as i was the kids aunt/mom/sister, I will be this childs mom, and mom only.
i'm sure none of this makes sense. and i am really just blabbering on. I know i will get the whole "IF YOU NEED ANYTHING, JUST LET ME KNOW" so here it is:
PRAY. Pray for my child to grow, grow strong and healthy. That is all i need right now.
ok, so imma go wipe these tears and i promise, i am taking care of myself!
Friday, January 7, 2011
A Whole NEW Year
2010 is gone and 2011 has started. 2011 was a very rollercoaster year for me. I broke up with someone i thought i was going to marry (which i now realize was for all the wrong reasons) I found an incredible job with amazing people. I FINALLY got my dream car. I then, not expecting, found my prince, MARRIED him and then, on Christmas, found out i am expecting a baby. All within 12 months. I think that's more excitment in one year than i had in the past 5 years. I've had alot of loss within the past two years, but i have also gained so much.
"Friends" have come and gone. It's funny how when you need to find yourself, and in the process means, rethink some religious things, your "church" friends are the first to leave, first to talk about you, and first to run to you when they want to hear the lastest scoop. HMM.. I will say, it's not all my church friends, some have actually stuck with me, still care and love me, and to those few, thank you.
The realtionship with my mom was rocked, but i think after actually sticking up for myself, we are great. Me and my dad also grew closer. Which all made me realize how much i have to take care of when they are gone. It's all on me. My sister asked me to adopt the kids. How i wish i could. That i had the money to. But i don't, not yet. But i know i will. and i am so grateful for my amazing husband, that will do all of this with me, no questions asked. He is truly amazing.
I want this year to be amazing. and 98% of that will rely on me. I have all the works layed out. my path is clear, and i have the most amazing people by my side holding my hand, people in heaven looking down on me, and a great GOD leading me.
I have someone else to think about, not just Robbie, but a baby growing in me and depending on me for it's health, for it's life. that TERIFIES me. I want this to happen. This is my second pregnancy. The first eneded after 6 weeks, in a miscarriage. I sit here and shake as i write this becasue it'll never go away, i lost a baby. And i am so scared for this one but trying all i can to make this happen.
So the few that will actually read this, please please pray and keep this baby in those prayers.
on a lighter note...
I hope for you all a great year. Don't make resolutions, just strive to be a little better every day. Let love replace hate, and always remember to watch your words with all you come across, because you don't know the battle they are fighting.
Adios, Y vaya con Dios,
Crystal Gibb
"Friends" have come and gone. It's funny how when you need to find yourself, and in the process means, rethink some religious things, your "church" friends are the first to leave, first to talk about you, and first to run to you when they want to hear the lastest scoop. HMM.. I will say, it's not all my church friends, some have actually stuck with me, still care and love me, and to those few, thank you.
The realtionship with my mom was rocked, but i think after actually sticking up for myself, we are great. Me and my dad also grew closer. Which all made me realize how much i have to take care of when they are gone. It's all on me. My sister asked me to adopt the kids. How i wish i could. That i had the money to. But i don't, not yet. But i know i will. and i am so grateful for my amazing husband, that will do all of this with me, no questions asked. He is truly amazing.
I want this year to be amazing. and 98% of that will rely on me. I have all the works layed out. my path is clear, and i have the most amazing people by my side holding my hand, people in heaven looking down on me, and a great GOD leading me.
I have someone else to think about, not just Robbie, but a baby growing in me and depending on me for it's health, for it's life. that TERIFIES me. I want this to happen. This is my second pregnancy. The first eneded after 6 weeks, in a miscarriage. I sit here and shake as i write this becasue it'll never go away, i lost a baby. And i am so scared for this one but trying all i can to make this happen.
So the few that will actually read this, please please pray and keep this baby in those prayers.
on a lighter note...
I hope for you all a great year. Don't make resolutions, just strive to be a little better every day. Let love replace hate, and always remember to watch your words with all you come across, because you don't know the battle they are fighting.
Adios, Y vaya con Dios,
Crystal Gibb
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