I was 6 when Anjel was born, 8 with Daniel, 12 with Lassette, 17 with Cruz, and 20 with C'Era. My sister had Anjel at 16. You can do the math. She has also been in and out of jail since having Anjel and Daniel. She went into prision, for life, when C'era was 6 MONTHS old, yes, months. To these kids, i have been sister, aunt, mother, and friend. I have given up so much to help my parents take care of them. I grew up with Anjel and Daniel, i was the sister. Lassette, we have a weird relationship. i was still growing up, but also had to take care of her a lot bc my sister was on drugs and my paretns were always bailing her out of jail or talking to lawyers...etc. So i was 12-17 being the mom and sister. With Cruz, Cruz is my baby. I took care of him for a month after he was born bc my sister was on crack,coke, whatever, Cruz's dad beat her coming home, so my mom was at the hospital and my dad had to work. Oh, and yes i was still going to school. keeping it all hidden. Which btw i had issues my junior year... But i disgused the real issue. ANYHOO. C'era, is my lil girl. she calls me mom. She only knows Monica behind a table, glass, fence, and phone.
I babysat all the time bc my parents worked (until my mom had surgery and my dad said no more working) they basically stressed day and night over my sister. As bad as this may sound, we all slept better at night knowing my sister was in jail bc those late nght calls would stop. My senior year consisted of late night parties! Wait, not for me. I got the calls from my sister to go get her. MANY times. So i snuck out, to go get my 27-28 year old sister. I didnt go to the college of my choice, i stayed home, bc who would watch the kids? Yay for MC being decent!
2005 , still the absolute worst year of my life. Cruz was diagnosed with type 1 diabetes at the age of 2. We found out Anjel was sick, and the dumb doctors of midland texas had no clue, not until we went to the Texas Childrens Hospital on Houston. *SN* if i ever come into money, i would donate my whole life to that hospital, and to type 1 diabetes research, not for myself, but for my poor cruz** Then we found out about Lassette, i wont put that online, then my sister kills someone and yeah... oh i am still going to college! yay me... Who attedned my college graduation. My mom. Anjel was sick in houston... my dad had to be there. i wish it was my dad tho, he was the ONLY one who encouraged me to keep going to school. My mom was old school and thinks school is not important.
The whole point in this before i go on and on, is that those kids made me who i am today. I would do it al over and give up more if i had to. But i am so heartbroken.
I love my sister, i WILL stand by her side no matter what outsiders want to say about her. I am NOT ashamed. Look her up. Monica Palmer, capitol murder. Half the crap they say is ridiculous, but believe what you like. Aside from that, She is what i will NOT be. She was my life lesson. She was on drugs and did all kinds of stupid crap, HAd 5 beuatiful babies, aborted 1. That, i'll NEVER understand. but not my place to judge. I was there for plays and dance recitals. I got called when a kid was sick, i was the one who endured the long wait at emergency rooms bc daniel did something stupid. I gave up new clothes and stuff bc the kids... I prayed and cried over them. I have been super mom and grabbed cruz and rushed to the er when he was having convulsions... idk how, hes heavy im weak, but i did it, a few times. I went out and roamed midland at 2 am to find my neice. I could go on and on. YEs, my parents were there, but Anjel was sick, in and out of the hospital back and forth from houston, my sister, well yeah, then the others. my mom was sick on her own... it was ME. My parents did more that i did, please dont take anything away from them. They are super parents. I dont know grandparents that would do all that they have.
But im the bitch, im the one that gets told to shut up, to leave them alone, that i dont know anything, that i can die. I get no acknowlegement on mothers day. But my sister gets huge cards and calls sorry but what did she do?
I dont want them to make the mistake their mom made. Anjel is gone. Daniel, is in jail, Lassette worries me to death. I dont want her to be a teen mother. I dont want her hurt by stupid little kids! But she is the one who told me her life is hers and i needed to stay out of it. I dont think ive EVER been so hurt. Ill back off. When your little boys cheat on you and break your heart, when your 'girlfriends' back stab you and run all over you, if, GOD FORBID, you get pregnant and are left alone like your mom was, bedides mom and dad, ill be there. When my mom and dad leave this world, ill be here.
Ill always be here bc i love you. Ill back off, but i will never abandon you like you mom and sperm donor have. i'll love you from back here. i promise you all that.
